We Are Not at the Mercy of Our Feelings

March 31st, 2026

I am eternally grateful for my college track coach. But long before he was my coach, he was my friend, two years ahead of me in undergrad. He did not have a sip of alcohol until he was 21, played video games, invited friends on trips to Northampton, and ate ice cream with me on the curb. This post is dedicated to the one and only Cole Anderson.

Truly, I cannot think of anyone better suited to work with a bunch of punk-ass undergrad kids. We made this man’s life hectic. Tori and I would throw ourselves into his early morning lifts with far more energy than any sane person should have at 6:00 a.m.

During mandatory check-ins, he was simply there, even when I did not want to talk. He let me sit in silence, gnawing on half-eaten sandwiches. He’d say, "Fine. Not going to talk? Let’s go throw something." And we would walk down to the shed, pull out all the javelins, discs, and hammers we could find, and throw them.

When I almost skipped my award ceremony after winning the Mary C. Bryan Award for Best Screenplay because life felt too heavy, he did not hesitate. "Too bad," he said. "I am going, and so are you."

So I went. Thank goodness; that award remains one of my proudest accomplishments.

When I could not make it to Senior Night, Cole brought Senior Night to me. When I stopped going to the cafeteria for team meals, he did not let me disappear. He came to get me afterward just to make sure I wouldn’t eat alone.

"Things will not always be like this, Sarah. Just hang in there," he would say.

And he was right. Life got so much better.

Last April he married the love of his life! My move to Idaho meant I could not attend his wedding, but Tori showed up with enough energy for the both of us. Since then, we have discussed the ups, the downs, and everything in between.

To be completely honest, I don’t think he even ever knew the details of what was going on back then. I told him my heart hurt and not to ask any questions. I still do that actually— oops!

Recently, he sent me this text:

"I am not going to ask any questions, but you need to remember that things only matter as much as you let them. We are not at the mercy of our feelings, we dictate how we feel. You are a young, smart, energetic, pretty woman who is living her best life with nothing weighing her down. Do not let yourself be the only thing weighing you down."

This is how we are meant to show up for one another.

You may not know Cole, but I can tell you this. Life once gave him every reason to be unkind, and instead of letting it harden him, he chose something better. He chose to be good.

I do not know where I would be, or if I would be here if he had not shown me that I could make the same choice. The choice to be good.

Coach, thank you for everything.

Sarah Amoros